Girls At My Age!!

Hola..

Yeah, I know is like only 5 minutes away from my previous post. Just in case i forgot again. So i post another 1 again. You see i've got lot things to say but then i didn't know how to restructure all the stories. This time is about girls.

Girls at my age might be already married and probably with kids. So people around you especially the elders will start asking you. "When are you getting married? You have a boyfriend already? When am i going to hear good news from you?" All sort of relationship or married things started pouring in. For Chinese girls, at Chinese New Year time, when girls age getting old, they tends to skip or went out when there is relative visit. Cos the question will always repeat every year. Even you are married, they will ask you "When you will have kids?" When you already have kid, they will also ask "When are you going to have a second one?" Aren't they tired repeating the question every year? Or maybe is just a norm?

Girls at my age, the more you grew, the more selective girl you become. You've seen lot of different type of people during your working life. The bad, the short, the handsome, the gay, the lesbian, the nice, and some many the..... If is not yours, it still not yours. So my friends or relative said "Some good one you have to grab" But who doesn't know the good one need to be grab. Is just that does you have the chance and luck to grab? Is not only seeing chances but also the luck.

Girls at my age, when you found the one. You will always ask to yourself, is he the one? Even after married, you would worry will my husband be loyal to me forever? Or does he still sending text messages to his ex-girlfriend. When he say busy you start thinking, is he really busy?  Don't tell me you don't think any of that before. At least it slip in your mind some of the time. But if you keep thinking about things that testing your trust to him. Is better for you to take a break and think thoroughly why is it so. Is not healthy relationship though. I mean not all marriage trust is being tested. If yours is, maybe find someone close to you and get some little advice.

Girls at my age, most of my friends were married and have kids now. All is about mama topic. What to eat during pregnancy? What to do when kids having fever? And so much things about kids. Well, that is majority girls that will encounter it. It might include you and me.

Girls at my age, some still remain single. I know is not they want to stay single. And i know is not because they enjoy being single. Is just they see things much more open than anyone else. They no longer desperate for love like in their 20s. They no longer had grudge with ex-lover. They now much appreciate the family they have now. They now much appreciated the friendship that last more than 10 years. They much appreciated what they have now.

Girls at my age, no matter you are single or a mum or a wife. You still are girls that had dream. A dream whether to have a family. A dream whether to be a lady boss. A dream whether to be a traveler. What ever your dream it is, we, girls should love ourselves more than anyone else.

Is because we, girls, gave life which man couldn't.

Long live to girls.

Love,
Maye

Drowning

Some how been drowning for long in the sea. I didn't know is been how many years. Countless days been past. I do not want drowning without trying to swim. I will now try to swim up to the surface and looking for shore. Hope is not too late for me.

You can do it, Maye!!

A Letter To Papa !!!

Dear Papa,

How are you recently? It's been quite long time since the last i chat with you in my dream. Where have you been? I know we won't be forgotten. You must be busy with your activities, huh? Hehe.

Well, me, mommy, small kor kor, jie jie, big kor kor, Phui Thein and Chen Tong, all doing fine here. Mummy now, know how to enjoy herself. Went vacation to few countries. Korea, Thailand, Vietnam and etc. Yeah, is nice!! Were you by her side during her vacation? I know you would be there, enjoying as well.

As for small kor kor, he is still busy at work as usual. He is getting fatter and fatter. Daddy, you know there is a movie name "Kungfu Panda"? He is now look alike the main actor, Panda. The fat was like 90% alike. Haha. Kor kor sure will look at me now if he knows i tell you this. Haha.

Oh ya!! Mummy was rushing to find one partner now. Daddy, u try look for any potential girlfriend for him? Haha....

As for jie jie, she was fine, but recently had a few fight with bro in law. I think is a small matter, they will be fine soon.

Well, big kor kor. He is now driving taxi, i think you already know about that. He is fine too. And oh, his wife is fine too. There are one time, when sis in law (da sao) had a serious sick. Kor kor thought "something" went in her body. But mummy very superb. She cure her. Not mummy chase that "something" away. Sis in law is really sick. I mean fever sick. Not that "something"!!

She is fine now. Can jump and singing like us. :)

Big news for Phui Thein!!! She got a boyfriend now. Name Tarence. He is a chef. Dotes Phui Thein very much. Haiz....Pa, i feel i'm such a failure. Even Thein now also got boyfriend. I'm still thinking mine though. Haha... Mummy always make jokes on her asking when mummy going to be great grandma. Hahahaha....

As for Chen Tong, he is big boy now. Can't deny that anymore. He had a mature thinking like a man now. I'm feeling old so sudden as i see him grow up each day. Haha. He's now study in University. Taking accounting degree. The most clever thing he ever did in his studies is that anything that he don't know about accounting, definitely he ask me about it. Haha... There is one mobile lecturer here. Hehe...

Alright!! The last one was me. How am i? I'm fine, Pa! As usual busy with work and studies. And oh, i'm having exam next month. Hope i can get through this time. Wish me best of luck on exam question. Work? As usual, i can say. Hehe... Finding a partner? Still thinking....thinking... Haha...

Keep say about our things. But i still remember to wish you....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAPA!!!!!

I never forget your big day though!!!

(P/S: Thank you heaven messenger for sending my letter to my Papa ^-^)

With love,

Maye (Daughter)

Action Speaks Louder Than WORDS~~

Oh please. Don't tell me again, you are not. Don't tell me, you've care. Stop all the empty words. Act on it is much better than your words. Stop all that.

Take a break for a week to think about it....

Hibernating,
Maye

No title!!

Tired of everything that relates to you. Just do whatever you want. I'm not going to do anything anymore. Since you have no change at all. Means you don't even bother at all. I won't force you anymore. I won't tell you anymore. That's the end of my saying. Let's call it over. Do what ever you want. Maye

V - Day

Nothing happen on V-Day. Oh no...yeah. There is one though. Haiz... i got a mean sms. I don't know whether you really send that message with a mean feeling or is not. Im just joking only ma.... Cannot just also accompany play jokes together?? Cold war had just begin. No more next time, i won't wish anything already. NO MORE........ (means keep quiet all the time...i think so)

I still got program during V-Day. I went watch movie with my friend. And PLEASEEEE...is really only a friend. And why Melaka street so many cars yesterday? Though the next day is a public holiday but stay at home ma... Cos i'm outside...hahaa.. I'm just joking.


Bit of angry + bit of happy = Complicated Maye

I admit now!!

Happy Chinese New Year to all. This year have a short holiday only as the holiday starts only on Thursday so i've got only 4 days holiday plua 1 day annual leave holiday. Every year Chinese New Year are always fast pass. Maybe i should say enjoy times is always that fast pass. This year as usual met lot of my friends which is left out Li Fang. She is still in Glasgow, UK. Hope she's doing fine over there.

I've bought couple of clothes for new year. The difference of this year and previous year was,

I WASNT WEARING NEW CLOTHES FOR THE 1ST DAY OF CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!!

Previous year i was eager to wear new clothes and waiting to get many ang pow as i can. But this year it was like normal days for me. Wake up, brush teeth, wear house clothes, breakfast and watching TV, and go my baby sitter house a whie. And that's end of my 1st day of CNY. Boring isn't it?? Okay, okay, okaaaaayy...... I admit i GROW OLD already.

There is another difference this year. But still i know when the happy times come, the bad things would happen after that. And my intuition is always right. Why it would always right? Haiz..i hate this feeling though.

I know i shouldn't make a comparison. But i try very hard not to. I try not to know any about your things. But still if being ask or chat about your things, i couldn't said "I don't really want to chat about it!" isn't it? Cos i also want to know your things actually. But after knowing, i feel bad. Cos, i thought i know about your things much but actually i don't know that much. Though that things was a small matter but that is not the first time it happen like this. Is just i don't admit it was actually happened. But now, i do admit.

Lot of the things that i've been chat and ask about. The more i ask, the more the differences is clearly curve out. I just don't know should i say to myself "I am a different person, so that is why you act this way!" or i should say "You weren't seriously towards me!" As i keep thinking longer, I know you are at the second option. Okay.... I admit now.

I will no longer demand you to do any changes now. Do what ever as you likes. If wouldn't work out well, i'll go with mine, you'll go with yours. I won't force you anymore.

Till then, I need to admit it.

Maye

Haiz....I'm old another year again!!

Hello everyone. Nope is not my birthday. Is another Chinese New Year again. And i'm getting older another year again. Another 4 years i'm going to started with the number "3" Oh shit!! Time really pass very fast. Have to grab it properly every minute and every second. If not, i scared i will regret one day for not grabbing it with care.

Every new year, every one would have new year resolution. As for me, i don't wish much. Just a simple one. First of all.....

1) Hope my family and loved one stay healthy and happy everyday. I love you all.

2) Hope this year my work went smoothly. All the challenges at work i could handle with care and overcome it.

3) Hope every exam that i take would pass (Of cos depend on my hard work and discipline..hehe)

4) Hope i strike lottery. Haha... Okay i know this is hard. But i hope....

5) Hope each of my best friends and friends stay cute and pretty everyday. To those who work, hope you all have a smooth year ahead. Those who study, hope you all pass all your exam and graduate soon.

6) Hope the world would have no more war. And peace everyday.

Last of all...

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR FOR ALL CHINESE

&

HAPPY HOLIDAY TO THOSE NON-CHINESE

Oopss....sorry.....Uploaded wrong.

Ah...this is the correct one.. (Dong Dong Chiang...Dong dong Chiang....)

Maye

Its complicated

Happy new year everyone!! Its kind of complicated i am right now. I started to question myself "what am i doing now?" and "Where am i now??" Everyone was enjoying the celebration of the new year. I was happy at first, but in the end i'm still unhappy with it.

I was happy to celebrate together but in the end i still get nothing. Didn't know what i still hold on to. I didn't know lot of things. I didn't know what i am to u. I didn't know where's my stand now. I didn't know why is always me to get upset about it. I didn't know....

Kind of few things i keep repeating. Until now i'm bit tired of it. Maybe we are not at the same track? Continuing like this will have a result? Maybe i shouldn't think so much about it. But i know i can't.

Maybe i should talk to you later

Complicated,
Maye

After the happy moment.....

The sad things will come next.

And it really comes now....

IM SPEECHLESS

IM BROKEN

Maye

Missing = Missing

Though is strong but is weak,

Seeing you leaving for better,

I'm relieve,

somehow not use to it.

A night when i was alone,

Your face appear,

Though, saying to myself,

You are not here.

Though compare to thee,

I'm always not the same,

Always wanted to be the same,

but saying to myself,

Learn the different.

Though you'll be back,

Somehow i may know or not know,

What ever be,

Hoping you are happy.

Feeling something missing,

Cos missing you.

Wherever, Whenever, Whatever,

Hope you are happy

All the way...

^_^

Maye

No one else come close - Joe

When we turn out the lights,

The two of us alone together,

Something's just not right,

But girl (boy) you know that i would never ever let another's touch,

Come between the two of us,

Cause no one else will ever take your place...

[Chorus]

No one else come close to you (me),

No one makes me feel the way you do,

You're so special girl (boy), to me,

And you always be eternally,

Everytime i (you) hold you (me) near,

You always say the words i love to hear,

Girl (boy), just a touch you can do so much...

No one else comes close

And when I wake up to,

The touch of your (my) head on my (your) shoulder,

You're my dream come true,

Oh..girl (boy) you know that I'll always treasure,

Every kiss, and every day,

I love you girl (boy) in every way,

And i will always cause in my eyes...

[Chorus 2x]

No one else comes close

No one else comes close...

Damn, I love you...

Is just a song but don't know why...

Before listening to the song, i was thinking what type of song it is! After listening to it, and after reading the lyrics, maybe i know you are fall in love with the lyrics more than the music, i think! Is a nice song indeed. After all got no place at all, right?! Or maybe i just think too much...???

(P/S: I hope is i'm think too much!!)

Maye

This is all I ever wanted!!!

After knowing the story, it wasn’t the feel I was expected. It wasn’t the feel that I want though I had lot of despair in between. Seeing and knowing the closest to you in sad, is just like someone cutting my flesh from my body. Pain and heartache.

Both are my dearest and closest to me. In between I could only listen. Sitting beside quietly. Try to be a happy gal not to let you all worry. But deep in me is crying. I’m crying that I could not do anything except sitting beside. Feel that you are not ok but still smiling and listen at you. Try to talk some jokes just only hope could get a smile from you. Wanted to help but couldn’t. Helping on either right or left side would only create not fair. So what could I do? Standing in between to let them lie on when they need. Don’t know which and where should I head to.

Trying few times telling myself, not to contact, not to care but I just couldn’t do it. Feel sorry to all my other besties cos I didn’t really hold the promise that I made to you all. I really couldn’t bear not to care and not to contact. Couldn’t let go my hand when you seeing them falling in front of your eyes.

These few weeks I do feel that I’m being used than rather being cherished. It really grew stronger each day. I hate to have this thinking but I couldn’t lie to myself that it wasn’t there. I knew, I’m too over care about it so when the bad reflects to me, I was feeling being pull down. I knew it before it happens! But yet I’m still willingly to hold on it and trust it that it will over soon. Even I know very clear I didn’t stand in a space no matter how much I do. And I’m not calculating how much I do but just to let you know that I’m still here watching from far. Walk up and pull you up when you fall. To some people, you might think this is stupid action and thoughts but to me it is very dearest. Where are the promises that you all make earlier? Where are those happy moments that both of you share? Had forgotten all that? Right?

Didn’t know when I will be leaving Melaka and heading to Penang. I know I keep repeating this yet I still in Melaka now. Just to remind me so that I could cherish every day in Melaka. Till then I couldn’t like now to be with my closest one frequently. I don’t want miss any chance where I can be with them closely. When there is slim of chances, I will be there with them.

I do pray to God everyday that everyone beside me is happy especially those who closest to me. People do have hard time included you and me. But do remember there is a person standing somewhere corner of your heart are smiling and watching over you. That person has only wants one thing from you. Give yourself a smile when you are in pain. Only a happy smile could make everything to straight. That is all she ever wished and wanted.

Somehow there are things that she’s not able to help you but she wants you to handle the problem with care and rationally. Why? Cos she wants you to understand that no one can handle other people’s life, except you, yourself. Where else she only could listen and sitting beside you. Friends won’t be sticking together forever. The things that will always sticking together are the bond of friendship. One day everyone would leave, she hopes by the time she is leaving, you had already know how to take care of yourself. Till then she know you will be safe. That is all she ever wished and wanted.

And I will be the person.

Not to care, give up and Why? Why? Why?! These words seem familiar to you? Yes of course. It always could be seen in my blog and facebook shout out. That was just a way to let me release my grumble. Who doesn’t have hard times right? (again)

Only then, so many despair, crying and angry, my grumble or other peoples grumble, there's only one and only thing that i wanted to see. You all are happy and safe everyday.

That is all I ever wanted.

(P/S: Hope I can see you and you happy smiling soon)

Love,
Maye

Where were you??

I was in the middle of the midst of danger,

Pushing and squeezing in it,

People around looking at me like a weird girl searching,

I needed your hand to pull me out

but where were you?

After a tough pushing here and there finally i could get out!

You only ask me "What took you so long?"
I almost cry out but i hang still,

You got your reason,

I choose to believe,

but in my mind you still make me think

you were just acting,
But i still choose to believe.

The truth is very clear,

Yet i still hold and trust it,

I'm tired now.

I need a break!!

Maye

My Birthday vs Christmas 2009

I'm back. Hehe. Today this blog especially thanks to all my family, buddies, and friends. Thank you for the celebration and presie!! I had a great birthday this year!!! Muakss... Hug Hug...

Okay. I know you all would love see pictures than i'm telling grandmother stories right? I can read your mind~~~~ Haha...

First celebration from them~~~Thought only having a drink!! But surprise they bring out cake!! Thank u!! Muaks..

A second celebration from my besties!!! At Karaoke!! Thank u!! Muaks...Muaks..

All gone crazy that night...Haha...This few pictures are still okay...see below...

SEE~~~~~ So high~~~

Having another celebration with my dearest family. Together with my niece, 18 December baby too.... See out family trademark!! ROUND FACE!!! Haha...Too bad here is not a complete family potrait! Left out my big bro and small bro!! But never mind! That day i have a wonderful night too..


Here is the cake my sis bought for us!!!! So pretty and so so sweeeetttt......

.

This presie from Kevin! Thanks. I really love this dress!!! And Thank for your companion during my birthday!!

Presie from Jolene and kelly!! Aromatherapy Dead Sea Bath Salts SLIMMING!!!! That is the most important word! Haha. A cute small card from them!!!

And also Collagen Crystal Eye Mask!! They knew i will be 'superman'!! What superman? Doesn't the eye mask look like the Superman eyes? Haha....I still remember last year they bought me Elianto eye mask too!

OKay....That was my birthday happening!!! How about my Christmas?? Christmas eve i was in the cinema watching movie! A nice quiet and peaceful Christmas!! It is better than the outside traffic jam!! Hehe.... On Christmas day i was with who???

Ta daaaa.... With my besties Jadey!! Believe it! My first time to exchange Christmas gift with my besties ler....Hehe...

Deng deng denggg..... My Christmas gift!!!

SO....That is how my birthday and Christmas for 2009!! Next year how it will be? God knows!!

P/S: 2010 is coming!! Here i wish everyone Happy New Year 2010 and hope each and everyone around the corner of the world happy everyday!!!

Maye

24

12th December 1985 suppose is my exact birthday. But my mum said i was stubborn. Still staying inside her belly and doesn't want to see the world. Cos inside i've been being feed and had no worries inside. So comfort.

But doctor told my mum that i shouldn't stay too long. It is not healthy for the baby. And so after a week, is like i've heard the doctor said. And i was born.

Just clip of eyes, i've now 24 years old. If good enough, i would be a wife and a mother right now. Just like what my mum love to say those words to me. Cos she gave birth to my sister when she was 23 years old. So..you see. Past another few weeks, i will be stepping in the year of 25 years old. Hei...not fair! I've not yet really enjoy my 24 for a year and now i will be stepping 25? Haiz...for December baby is always that not fair. But what to do? We choose to be born in that month.

All this past 24 years, lot of stories had been curve out in this journey! The sad one! The happy one! The excited one! The....bla bla bla. Lots and lots! Past few months been having conversation to my besties. All of us had grown up! Everyone is thinking about the future and some start thinking to settle down.

I've been thinking for myself too. Of cos not rushing myself to settle down. That would let it natural. But also need myself to make the first step before thinking that. Plus i still have problem lingering around me that i couldn't put it down. How could i make the first step if i'm still lingering that? Sometimes i didn't think much about it but once a while it seems coming back reminding me.

There are times that i'm sure what i want in the future but i pacing back and forth didn't know what should i do for it.

24 years old, i should think forward and should let go the past! But i already get used to the feeling i had. Is tearing me when i think about it! I still keep on walking and holding it in me. Cos i know i don't want to lose it.

Wish all the sad things in me or in my family or in my besties would be gone soon!

Lastly, wish earlier to myself,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF!

YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY!

JIA YOU!!

Maye

Dance with my Father....

I cried when i sing this song...A song for him...A song for my father...I love you!!

Dance with my Father - Luther Vandross

Back when I was a child
Before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high
And dance with my mother and me and then

Spin me around 'til I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure
I was loved

If I could get another chance another walk another dance with him
I'd play a song that would never ever end
How I'd love love love
To dance with my father again

When I and my mother would disagree
To get my way I would run from her to him
He'd make me laugh just to comfort me
Then finally make me do just what my mama said

Later that night when I was asleep
He left a dollar under my sheet
Never dreamed that he would be gone from me

If I could steal one final glance one final step one final dance with him
I'd play a song that would never ever end'
Cause I'd love love love
To dance with my father again

Sometimes I'd listen outside her door
And I'd hear how my mother cried for him
I pray for her even more than me
I pray for her even more than me

I know I'm praying for much too much
But could you send back the only man she loved
I know you don't do it usually
But dear Lord she's dying
To dance with my father again

Every night I fall asleep and this is all I ever dream
I know you don't do it usually
But dear Lord she's dying
To dance with my father again

Maye

When You Break!!!

I and you met some years ago,

I've attracted to you the moment i saw you,

Decided will be with you no matter where you go.

You and me share lots of up and down together,

but seems that you doesn't matter,

Thought give some time to let you think it through,

Thought my dream with you will come true,

But your quiet had say "we've been through"

When you say bye,

I'll respect you,

When i say bye,

I'll just couldn't leave you.

Didn't give up,

Me, try to patch it up,

Your action tells me "i give up"

After all the sacrifices,

Finally i success,

Somehow i can't feel...

I can't feel the old you anymore.

And so you say good bye,

Telling me let the past be gone.

Is time to find a new one.

(Why you break with me just like this? I know you doing this for my own good. I will miss you)

Love,
Maye

What is that?

Shared some story. Trust me is worth continue reading...

An old father and his son sitting on a bench under a shady tree. Son was reading the newspaper and father was looking around the scenery. Father saw a bird and ask

Father: What is that?
Son: A sparrow

Father kept quiet....After a while, he ask again...

Father: What is that?
Son: A sparrow

Father kept quiet for a moment and ask again the same question...

Father: What is that?
Son (angry): A sparrow...a sparrow... S.P.A.R.R.O.W
How many times u going to ask????

Father gets up and went inside the house. After few minutes, he came out from the house bringing his diary. Open the page and give it to his son. He say..

Father: Loud
Son: When my son turn to about three years old, he ask me 21 times 'What is that?' and I answered him 21 times. Even when i hug him, he still ask the same question and i still answer the same.

Son feel sorry. Hug and kiss his dad.

Moral of the story: Cherish your love one especially your parents. They are the one who make you what you are today.

Maye