What i have is only EMPTY!

I didn't know how to start this blog. I really didn't know! Type and erase over and over again! Didn't know how to describe the feeling i had now. I want happy but my heart is crying.

I didn't know what to expect from you. But i know it very clear that i'm feeling being used more than you cherishing it! Although you always say no. But you make me feel " Yes it is" always. Grow stronger each day!! I didn't expect of you being prioritise me but i just want to feel i'm been cherish!! But i only feel empty! EMPTY!!!

I care about you which i think is important to me but always get being pull down by you. Is this what people say " Hold and trust it!" or is it just one simple word "Stupid" ?? My mood is been up and down. Hang still in the appearance! But in my heart feeling giving up!! Could you please give some trust to me to not give up? I know you wont! But i keep hoping everyday you will although the chances is only 1% !! But now i know is impossible from you!

Sorry....i promise you not to think that way! But you make me think it every day!! I couldn't make a lie to myself that i'm not thinking this way!

I'm tired...totally tired....Never been tired this way!!

Maye